WOMEN SEX AND MONEY.

This morning I was reading some comments on facebook and came across this post by a lady, which said that "a relationship that does not get you to the altar should at least get you to the bank, and not just the bedroom or the kitchen" I had a good laugh over it, but then again it brought to mind the issue of women, sex and money. Severally I have heard this phrase that there's no romance without finance. I don't know how true that is, but Seeing that comment reminds me of the mentality of some Nigerian women who believe that their body is an avenue to wealth.

For them, getting into a relationship with them means taking care of all their needs, and so they would assess any prospective toaster to see if he can cope with their demands. Their assessment of you involves, the kind of car you drive, where you live, and how you dress. Here in Nigeria, girls believe that if you have to be hitting on them then you have to show appreciation which comes in form of money and taking care of all their needs. Its no more an issue of loving you for who you are, but loving you for what I can get from you. I believe it seriously demeans a woman when money becomes the focal point in any relationship. However, their arguement is that they need money to take care of themselves, they need money to make themselves beautiful and attractive, so you, the man in their life have to provide that money, irrespective of the fact that some of them are actually working. Let us agree that is is in our African culture for the man to take care of the woman but like I said earlier when money becomes the focal point in every relationship then it leaves much to be desired.

One can attribute all these to the level of poverty in our society. In a society with so much poverty in the land, the values are simply thrown away and greed takes its place. We have seen instances where some girls due to their love for money  would leave their boyfriends who they really loved and marry a super rich guy because they want comfort and wealth and most times those marriages dont end well. Its either they are been maltreated by their hubby who sees himself as their God because he obviously provides all their needs or they resort to infidelity because they dont really love their husband, it is the money, and the comfort they love. Its a common thing these days to see young girls engaging in prostitution which they now call runz, all in the bid to meet up. What really irks me is our undergraduate girls in the university who will gladly sell body for money. They will tell you there are not into prostitution but rather what they are doing is runz or aristo. I wonder what the difference is between the runz and prostitution. I seriously fear for our future generation and what they would turn out to be. Its biblical that the love for money is the root of all evil. and every evil act usually leads its victim on a long and tortous journey to self destruction and perdition. However, in all of these there are still a few good girls who understand that money can't  really buy love. I do hope and pray for these aristo girls to understand this and come to the realization, that most times its not all about the money, but your dignity as a woman matters alot.

ONE CHANCE pt 2

When we got to the gate of the guest house, I told Larry that I wanted to ease myself and came down from the car. While I was doing my stuff. i noticed that Larry had parked the car beside the guest house and left the driver's seat for the backseat and I was wondering why he had to do that, but then didnt give a second thought to it. So you can imagine my shock when i came close and found out that Larry was kissing Zaynab.
HEY, ANOTHER MAN WIFE !!! I shouted.

Haha cool down nah Baba T, zaynab responded.
Cool wetin? Na which kin nonsense una think say una dey do so? Abeg guy come go drop me make i dey go my house I nor dey for dis una nonsense. I told them.
Whats your own sef? whats your business in what we do? Please dont come and spoil my day for me. You are behaving as if you are a saint, Zaynab retorted.
I may not be a saint for all I care but I am also not that kind of sinner, i told her. By now, she was becoming more aggresive and abusive with her words. Saying alot of things as it had turned into a quarrel between both of us while Larry was there smiling and of course enjoying himself. I turned to Larry and told him that he would making a fool of himself if he goes ahead to sleep with Zaynab...and that even if he decides to cheat on his wife it should definitely not be with Zaynab. I told him to thank his stars that he did not marry her because this was exactly what she would have been doing had they gotten married. By now Zaynab was crying and raining curses on me, but of course, it didnt matter.
Now please get it straight, its not as if I hate Zaynab, or that I'm trying to be holier than thou here. Zaynab is a cool girl. I have nothing against her, but for heaven's sake shes a married woman, somebody else's wife. And come to think of it, she left Larry a long time ago when she felt he was a never do well. So how come, after 12 years she feel she can still come back and behave as if all is well, besides they are both married for crying out loud. When she left, we were still young men struggling to make ends meet. We were  like 5 guys staying in a one room apartment in shomolu and of the five of us only one had a job. Now after all these years she suddenly realized that she made a mistake......bullshit ! I honestly wanted to know what she really wanted because I know she's not looking for a child, she already had two boys. She's not after money as her hubby was well loaded, and besides she had a very good job, so what's the issue here? Is it just the sex? Well I may never know what her true intentions are but as far as I know she had her chance to live a happy life with Larry and she blew it so she should learn to live with whatever it is that is making her seek Larry once again.
Well we eventualy left Ikoyi that night after so much drama. On our way back, Larry thanked me for what I did. he told me that he knew that  he would not be able to resist Zaynab and that that was why he asked me to come along with him. He said I should understand how much he used to love her. I told him  if he knew he would not have been able to resist her, then he should not have bothered to see her in the first place. I was so mad at him. What was he thinking in the first place? Now he made it seem as if I was the badt guy that spoilt the whole plan for them, because from what I can see they had been planning this all along. He simply smiled and said that's the idea, afterall, what are friends for?
For me I have done my part, and don't care what anybody thinks.

ONE CHANCE pt 1

Last wednesday, I got a call from Larry, that he would need me to escort him somewhere after the close of work that day. I told him no problem,and that he should call me when he's set. Larry and I have been friends right from our secondary school days. We had gone to the same university together and had lived together during our university days so we were very close. He is, what you would call a jolly good fellow. Always fun to be with as he never ceases to make you laugh.

After the close of work that day, he came over to my office to pick me and as we were going in his car, I asked him where we were going to, he sheepishly smiled and told me Zaynab was in town. Zaynab was his girlfriend when we were in school. However, they broke up when we left school as She had left him to marry somebody else. So you can imagine my surprise when he told me with so much excitement that she was in town and he was going to see her. I recalled, that a few weeks before now, Zaynab had seen me on facebook and added me. She had asked about Larry and I told her he was fine and was now married. She told me that she had searched for him on facebook but could'nt find him. I told her Larry was not the facebook type. She had asked for his number, but I told her to give me hers instead, and that I would get in touch with Larry, if he's keen on talking to her he would call. She had gone on to tell me how she regretted breaking up with him and how she later realized she had thrown away her happiness. I simply told her that all that was past now and that they are both married and have moved on. However, from the way she was going, I guessed she was not happy with her marriage, but that was not my concern.

Anyway to cut long story short, Larry told me that her company had sent her for a seminar in lagos (she lives in Abuja with her family) and she was somewhere in Ikoyi and had asked him to come over to see her. I didnt say anything I simply shrugged and listen to him talk. I know how Larry loved her back then when we were in school and how heartbroken he was when she left him to marry somebody else. I figured he only wanted to see how she had fared and maybe show off that he too had made it.
When we got to Ikoyi, Larry called her and she told him she was somewehere in VI but she would was her way back. she eventually came, and I must confess she was looking so good. We went to a joint along Awolowo where we had some drinks. At about 10pm I told Larry that we needed to start going as I was still going back to my office to pick up my car. We had to drop Zaynab off at her company's guest house where  she was putting up. It was when we got to the guest house that the real drama started to unfold.

TO BE CONTINUED

THE SPY WHO LOVED ME

I was reading some news post online over the weekend when I came across the news of the
former CIA director who had resigned because he had been involved in an extramarital
affair. He is just one of the many great men that had fallen to what we refer to in naija
as bottom power. The former spy David Petraeus was said to be having an affair with his
biographer, Paula Broadwell. The affair was said to have came to light when Paula sent an
harassing email to another of his mistress known as Jill Kelley. It was this email which
led the FBI to examine her email account and eventually discover her relationship with
Petraeus. The FBI contacted Petraeus and other intelligence officials, and Director of
National Intelligence James Clapper asked Petraeus to resign for his indiscretion.

This is a case of how art the migthy fallen ! In recent times we have seen how great men
fall for bottom power. Tiger Woods has not been the same after his extramarital affair was
discovered. But come to think of it O, these Americans their own too much jare....they
should come and learn one or two things from Nigerians. In Nigeria, its quite normal for a
man to be married and still indulge in extramarital affair. A few weeks ago, a softsell
magazine came out with a publication of a popular actress in Nollywod who was pregnant for
one of our senator. As far as we are concerned this it was no big deal even when we know
this senator is married. For us here in Nigeria we really dont see anything wrong when men
have extra marital affairs..... the only problem is when the women start looking out. We
are always quick to conclude that it a man's world. The average Nigerian wife will tell you
that they know that their hubby have mistresses outside and even when they are not
comfortable with it they still dont make a fuss over it. Chei !! I love my Naija.....try am
for America !

 The Naija woman will tell you that as far as he lives up to his responsibility then they dont have a problem with his extramarital activities. Although the modern women are gradually shifting away from this notion, but the truth still remains that 7 in every 10 women in Nigeria still see it as a man's world and live with the fact that their husbands have not been 100% faithful in their marriages.

In a letter to members of his staff, Petraeus had said "After being married for over 37
years, I showed extremely poor judgment by engaging in an extra-marital affair," he said in
the letter. "Such behaviour is unacceptable, both as a husband and as the leader of an
organisation such as the CIA. Having said this, its unclear what the intentions of his wife
are at this stage. It may be that she is willing to forgive and let go just like Hilary
Clinton did in 1996 when her hubby, the then president of the United states was involved
with a young intern Monica Lewinsky at the white house. Monica was an American woman with
whom then-United States President Bill Clinton admitted to having had an "improper
relationship while Lewinsky worked at the White House in 1995 and 1996. The affair and its
repercussions, especially the impeachment of Bill Clinton, became known as the Lewinsky
scandal. The bottom line in all of these is that the western world view such improper
relationships as un accepatable, whereas over here, we see it as a very normal thing, that
even our wives too have grown to accept it. Africa na really Africa no doubt. Please drop a

comment on what your opinion is on this.

DOUBLE WAHALA

A friend of mine who visited me this morning was giving me gist about what happened in his area last night. According to him. There  are this two brothers on his street who had built their houses close to each other with only a fence separating them. Now, one of them was sick and the wife, without informing the brother took him to a prophet's house where he was kept for about 3 days. When she found out there was no improvement she now transferred him to the hospital
(still without informing the brother) where he died yesterday.  It was after he  had died, she now called the brother to inform him of what has happened. Now the brother and his family accusing the wife of killing their brother.

Now my thinking is this...why di1d'nt she inform the brother that her husband was sick, given the fact that they lived next door to each other. secondly why didnt she take him to the hospital first before seeking spritual help? Most times when i hear of cases like this, i often wonder what the women were thinking. There are alot of cases of people getting sick  and been taken to prophet house for spiritual healing. Now while I'm not against spiritual healing, I also believe that heaven help those who help themselves. The ideal thing is to seek medical attention first, and while that is going on
you can inform your pastor or prophet as the case may be. Miracle can be performed from anywhere, it does not necesarily have to be inside the church. Your pastor can pray from wherever he is and the healing would come. I remember long ago back then in Warri where i grew up. There was this guy in my area who was a very brillant guy. He was one of the brightest amongst us then. I cant say for sure what happened, but somehow he became mentally unstable, and instead of his parents to
take him to hospital for medical attention, they took him to a spiritual house for healing. Inside the spiritual home, he was locked up and chained in one room for days. One day they opened the room to find out that he had committed sucide with the wrapper they gave him to cover at night. Beside his bed he left a note blaming his parents for his action and saying he ought to be taken to the hospital not be locked up and chained. So for me I cant really blame the family of the man for accusing the wife of murder...given the fact that all the while the man was sick she had kept it away from the family. My friend told me that the family is saying that the woman poisoned the man or maybe made a love portion which later backfired. I wont want to jump into conclusions here, it may be that the brothers were having issues which is why the woman did not inform the brother but then cases like this, one need to be cautious. he should have informed at least one person from the man's family when she saw her hubby's condition was critical.

With the way our culture is as regards to the way wives are treated upon the demise of the husband, I fear for what will happen to this woman most especially on account how the man died. This is really a case of double wahala for dead body and the owner of dead body. Please send in your comments and let me know what you think about this. Cheers

BUSINESS MADE EASY

Last sunday my uncle in surulere called me for a family meeting in his house  On getting there I found out that my cousin had a problem with his wife. His wife had packed out of their house and was saying she was no longer interested in the marriage.She had narrated to us, how her husband frolicked with girls all over the town, and as if that was not enough, he had gone to the extent of recording his sexcapades on phone. She said one of such video has been uploaded on the internet
and its been circulated around on social network and blackberry phones. According to her, the most annoying part of it was that it was her friends that told her about the video and how it got to her friend she does not know. She further described how hubby was having sex with two girls in the video and how devastated she was when she found out that her hubby was even having oral sex with these girls. She said she was afraid for her life and that she might one day get infected.

My cousin on his part was very sorry for his indiscretion and told us he had no excuses whatsoever, as he did not know what came over over him. He told us how he was invited to a blackberry group by his friends. He said it was in the group that he met the girls. He said he didnt know that the girls were videotaping him all the while they were together. It was the girls that posted this video on the group and obviously uploaded it on the internet. On why they did it, he did not know.

The introduction of smartphones into the Nigeria market is a welcome developement for the upwardly mobile. You can operate your business from just anywhere you are with your andriod, galaxy tabs and blackberry phone. It is business made easy. And thats why you find out that these days prostitutes (Or runz girls as they choose to be called these days) dont really need to hang out on the street corners waiting for customers. All they need is to get a smartphone, take a few sexy pic
and post them on different dating site and social network media and then wait for their customers. There are so many of these sites that has tremendously helped their business. Sometimes you see them sending random messages to people on facebook asking to be added. Now how do you add somebody you dont know? I get these messages most times and when I check and find out I dont know them, and we dont even have mutual friends, I simply delete.

 The most painful part of this is that our undergraduates young girls in our tertiary institiutions are the worst culprits in all these. They have turned themselves into cheap commodities, selling their bodies to any available man all in the name of survival. With the use of blackberry they are able to send their nude pictures and videos to different men all in the name of phone sex. Every minute you see them changing their display picture on their blackberry phones all in the bid to attract would be customers. The level of moral decadence in our society is so applalling. I really pray for our young girls and I wonder what kind of mothers they would turn out to be.

Some days ago, I read somewhere of a girl who was about to get married, however, a few days before the marriage, gist came to the fiance that she used to be a big time runz girl when she was in school. The guy called off the marriage and of course the girl was heart broken. Some people argued that the guy was mean and that he never wanted to marry the girl, they said that what the girl did then, was purely for  survival, but then again are there not better ways to survive than selling your body. I really wish they would learn.

SEX TOYS

Hello people, its been quite a while since I posted here, about six months or thereabout. I keep promising to be regular here, but my schedule is so tight that I hardly have that time. There have been times that I have had so many things on my mind to write about, but can't just make out the time to sit down in front of my computer and type. Its so crazy....lol. In any case, I think I would be more consistent this time around ( I always make this promise though lol)

I was in  a bar last night and I heard some men discussing about sex toys. The discussion was so intense and the arguements were so strong that you would think it would degenerate into a brawl. One of the guys, A tall lanky dude in his early forties was telling the rest of the guys that he had gotten a vibrator for his wife. They were like, what the f...k? Why does he need to get a sex toy for his wife? one of them made a joke that he was sure that the guy could no longer get it up and that was why he now needed the assistance of a vibrator to help his marriage. However, the guy was so calm and laughed at their ignorance. He took his time to explain to them that getting a sex toy for his wife does not mean he had problem with his sex life. he told them that the nature of his job made it difficult for him to be around most of the time and he felt it wise for him to get his wife a vibrator which he considered a much lesser evil to infidelity. The rest of the guys didnt feel that way. They argue that gradually the vibrator was going to take his place and that the wife would no longer enjoy his manhood as she would be more accustomed to the vibrator.

I sat at my corner and pondered on what they were saying. The issue of sex toys in Nigeria is gradually coming alive. I have a friend of mine, a lawyer, who lived in Abuja, who told me how he made lots of money selling sex toys in Abuja. He said that initially when he started the business he didnt think it would fly. Before he knew it, he became so popular so much so that he had to struggle to meet the demand. The issue of sex toys is something that is alien to our culture and that is why those men in the bar yesterday found it absurd that their friend got one for his wife. In my own opinion, I see nothing wrong in the use of sex toys and I dont see how any woman can replace any man with it or get so used to it. I think our attitude towards this stems from our general perception towards sex. There are still some of us who see sex as been sacred and solely for procreation. There are still some, that do not believe that the woman should enjoy sex. Yes even in our modern day Nigeria, we still have lots of them. Those are the kind of men that see no reason why their wives would crave for sex when they are not available. Those are the kind of men I saw in that bar last night.

So tell me what you think. Do you think the guy who bought a vibrator for his wife was wrong or his friends were wrong? send in your comments.